Saturday, April 16, 2005
- Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me
music is one of the central pillars of my life. like, i dunno what i wld do if there was no music. ever since i had conscious memory i've been tinkering with pianos of various sizes. producing different amounts of jarring noises. always making me cheerier, even after banging scales out.
in sn, it was qt a given to be "talented" at music, i.e. to play by ear or such. as such (ms chua will kill me for that) i took it for a given to be able to play by ear because i was surrounded by musically-smart people. mostly. not that i'm surrounded by music-illits, but i've been awakened to the fact that not everyone can or will play by ear. ironically... the number of grade 8-ers have increased in inverse proportion to the number of people who play by ear. haha. owell.
if (touch wood) one day i lose this God-given talent i dunno what will be left of me. not to be insensitive or anything, but to someone whose life is music, the loss of what sometimes is the one last joy in life is comparable to...losing your tongue? yea, comparable analogy. like being unable to express myself in music. musically dumb. oh my freak.
at any rate, what would life be... if i had taken the risk? one can never tell... but then... me being me being me, ad infinitum, i won't take this chance. i'm on the sanity rollercoaster. sometimes i'm sane (in all things practise relativity) and at most other times i'm a raving lunatic. do an Aston to me. lock me in the asylum.
aehhhhhhh. some dispassionate part of me argues that it's not all gone. i'm infinitely lucky to be who i am and in my saner moments i'm thankful i'm who i am and start pulling out cases which cld make my situation unbelievably worse - but hey, how often do we think like that? we live in the real world!
i'm going crazy(ier); ignore my parentheses and long convoluted and extremely unintelligible sentences with haphazard syntax.
okay, i'm sorry. i shall not be forthcoming with such monologues anymore. it's painful on all our parts.
SYF in a week, God help us all.
once may is over, the worst of the year will have passed and i can settle down to study for A's.
slash with the pen |||
6:43:00 pm
